We've all heard stories about things in the dark: the things no one can explain. The ghosts, the ghouls, the monsters, and all other things society tells us are not real...but we all know are true.
Let me tell you about one, one of the most feared, one whose name is never spoken aloud in case it draws his attention. I am, of course, referring to the Toffee Crisp Vampire. Yes, feared throughout the world, all quake in terror at his passing as he cycles round, turning any that displease him into Toffee Crisp with his dreaded Toffee Crisp lasers that shoot from his eyes.
Some say that the Toffee Crisp Vampire is an experimental mascot that escaped from one of Nestle's genetic engineering laboratories. Some others say that the Toffee Crisp Vampire is a man born with bizarre powers that heralds the end times. And still, some say that I'm lying and making this up.....but I guess we'll never know.